Now the first time I heard about this, I was led on by a friend of mine who tried to tell me "Well the red is symbolic of the blood of our women when they're on the rag and white is for the purity of our virgins". No, he was not serious, he was totally messing with me. Because I was culturally retarded and his mother had just given him his Martenitsa and I had no idea what it was remotely about. So that's why I went to a reliable source (more so than he is anyway), I went to Wikipedia.
Correct me if I'm wrong but Baba Marta is the holiday and the мартеница (Martenitsa, in Bulgarian, copy and paste....allllriiiight) are these little white and red things. I've seen them once, on an actual person, and they looked like miniature voodoo dolls. According to Wikipedia (oh yes, the source of information on the interwebs...not remotely misleading in any way) the tassels (or creepy voodoo doll things) are called ""Пижо и Пенда" or in English but still extremely difficult to pronounce "Pizho & Penda". Anyways, the point of this whole deal is to bring spring faster, good luck, and mercy from Baba Marta. Who according to the Wikipedia thing, might as well be a very crotchety old lady with a billion cats who gets pissed at the slightest deal. By wearing this little red and white do-dads, you ask for her mercy and if she's appeased, then good luck and Spring and she's ready to retire for the year. Your supposed to wear this until either you see a Stork or a blooming tree because that will mean that Spring is for sure here, otherwise you keep it on for the entire month. Another tradition is to place the Martenitsa under a rock and the bug you find next to it the next day determines how lucky or unlucky you'll be next year. I'm not Bulgarian, I'm Scottish and a bunch of other things--I'm just into cultures.
Either way, it's an old tradition, Wikipedia touts it as one of the oldest pagan traditions in Eastern Europe. There's a couple other legends about the whole thing, one of which involves a silver stag? Which being a descendant of the Picts and Celts, the silver stag showing up is like God himself being all "yo, what up". Guess we're not so different culturally after all. But our beer....Omg...whole other story.
OMG Astika. Which, seriously, no offense is owned by Anhauser. It's a Pilsner and it looks all golden yellow and pristine and then you drink it. I was sad for this beer, it honestly has a ton of potential! It's just incredibly watered down and tastes like practically every beer ever made in America. Like Keystone with a less pissy taste and more water. I was told a long time ago that this was not a good idea to drink because apparently even some Bulgarians hate it. Shocking I know, like Americans who hate mass produced American beer (oh wait...) right? Blasphemy!
I'm joking of course, but seriously. Astika has some potential to be less shitty. If Anhauser can let go of it and maybe make something that tastes original. See a good Pilsner is light, crisp, and refreshing (in my opinion) but this...this was too light, meh on crispy, and not all that refreshing. I was sad that I actually dumped most of it out. It was bitter and sad, like a jilted lover. Bulgaria can do so much better than this mass produced swill. They make Boza for heaven sakes! Or is it Bosha? Anyway, purportedly made for breastfeeding women (funny, I just talked about this last night) because it's low alcohol content made it ideal...one of the supposed side affects was breast enlargement. Now I found a recipe for it, and I will attempt to make it someday and see if my wimpy B's can become C's in some crazy epic fashion by drinking it. If the Bulgarians have made something that grows boobs...it's gonna be the next Viagra (apparently everyone and their husband bought this when it hit the European market, but that was a few years ago I think, possibly more).
Enough History and Geography and Boob growing booze...Crazy Bulgarians...
Ya'll saw the bottle of Mississippi Mud last week, so I won't bother repeating it. It was a porter and a pilsner mixed together in supposed awesomeness. Long story short, it gave me heartburn. I didn't even know what heartburn was, because I can eat anything and pretty much stay the way I am, so I'd never had any acid issues or stomach problems until this entered my system. Oh holy blue balls...I've never taken so many tums in my life. And honestly, the taste is bleh. It's just sort of whatever, it tastes like a Pilsner only brown. But if you want a cool bottle, then for 2 bucks, it's worth it. Otherwise, save yourself 20 Tums in one night and drink something a little classier, like Miller or something. I know why this stuff stays on the market, it's because it's cheap.
I dunno, I was expecting more flavor, more "woo!" inside of this bottle but all I got was "WOO! I HAVE HEARTBURN!". I was very depressed by this experience and I even have some left in the bottle but I sure as heck ain't touchin it. I'd rather drink bi-polar Baltika No. 9 than this ever again. Hell, ASTIKA is loads better and doesn't burn my insides like my stomach is where hell is at. And if you recall from above, Astika could be improved easily, if they cared more on taste and less about mass production and cash. Seriously, it looks appealing, but I assure you the crocodile on the label looks like it's smiling because it knows your gonna be in some serious pain tonight boi.
Now if I failed on explaining Martenitsa well, I apologize. You should look it up when you get a chance.
Next blog will be in a week, this time, remember that Baltika my mom bought me...
Oh yeah, a review on that.
AND DON'T FORGET, St. Patrick's day is in March...so get your livers in shape. Cuz, it's gonna be rainin booze.
Until next week.
Cheers.
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