Home Brew Attempt: Boza, or something like it...

Okay, so I decided last week I was going to try my hand at home brewing beer.

Well while what I'm attempting to make isn't exactly "beer", it's alcoholic and made with grain--so for me, it counts. Kind of.

Boza is a drink from Bulgaria/Turkey (The Turks make it with Bulgur, the Bulgarians with Millet, Corn, etc, but millet seems to be "the best")that's basically fermented flour, wild yeast, and a lot of sugar. I don't know how big a "teacupful" is, but I just used a standard measuring cup (more sugar = more alcohol). Now, I balked at the notion of wild yeast because that can be downright dangerous, so I bought a packet of dry ale yeast (Nottingham) from Eagle Rock Home Brew Supply. One of the nice things about using Millet, is that it's a Gluten Free grain/seed/whatever, so those of you with Celiac or on Gluten Free diets should try making this. Nottingham's ale yeast is also Gluten Free. There's a few beers out there that are "Gluten Free", Colorado has a milling/malt company that sells Malted Millet--however, I am destitute and cheap and I'm not about to shell out 150 USD for a 50LB bag of malted millet. However, I would love to split a bag with several people sometime and try making Boza that way.

The recipe is pretty simple, and you can find it HERE. Basically, the woman who collaborated with other Bulgarian Housewives to see how to make "the best". Now, Boza touted something else too, other than a breakfast beverage served with banitsa--apparently it claims to increase your woman's breast size. I guess it's a damn good reason to go vacation in Bulgaria! BTW, I know I'm super late but--happy martenitsa, ya'll. Interesting side note, they think the word "Booze" comes from the word "Boza" (which I guess is said like "boo-za").

I know that beer does increase your bust size--but also the rest of you. Boobs are basically fat, so getting heavier will make them bigger. So, yeah I guess if you drink enough Boza (like every time you drink) then sure, your breasts or your significant others breast size will probably increase in size. When Bulgaria joined the EU, the tagline "Increase Her Boobs!" was so wildly popular, countries were snatching it off the shelves. Frankly, I guess I'll find out if my not-so-boza will do the same for me. Here's a few articles in regards to the boob increasing claim: Here and Here

So while I'm not making "typical" Housewife Boza, (I didn't find millet flour, but I did find millet eventually) and while I'm not letting it ferment for 2-3 days (a week), I followed the recipe online. I roasted the millet in my oven at 350 for about an hour, but I would really watch it--otherwise it could burn. I ground about 2 1/2 cups of millet in a pepper mill and started boiling my water. I boiled millet and sugar (2 1/2-3 cups) for about an hour at 150 degrees. I only used a gallon of purified water from our filtered system. ALWAYS use spring water or purified water, it makes all the difference. When the mixture got down to about 80 degrees, I put it in my fermenting jug and added my dry yeast. In order to cool it quickly from 150 to 80 degrees, I filled my sink with ice water and kept changing the water when it got tepid. You can watch the temp jump 10 degrees every time you do this. It's quicker than waiting around. Yeast cannot survive in boiling water, DO NOT add the yeast when you boil.

If you decide to make this too, make sure you leave room in the fermenting container so that if the yeast decides to really take off it doesn't come foaming out the top. If you think it may foam, put your fermenting container in a bucket, easier to clean. Make sure you sterilize your equipment, I cannot stress that enough. You're messing with biology and while you may think "my dishwasher cleans everything!" trust me--go buy BFT (an iodine cleaner you do not need to rinse out, but personally, I would) or else use bleach and rinse everything really really well.

Now instead of letting it sit for 2-3 days, I'm gonna let it go for a week and see what happens. I think with all that sugar though, this may not be the best tasting boza--but it's going to have a decent amount of alcohol. Whether this increases my breast size, only time will tell. I'll be doing a review on this concoction when it's done (Tuesday, which I'm gonna strain and bottle it). I'm going to assume my tweaking, is probably going to make this taste awful. For those of you in Southern California, millet--hulled or flour--is HARD to find. I managed to find it at Sprouts in Burbank. But they only sell the hulled variety.

This broke girl just found herself a job as well, which means more beers, more blogs. More reviews, more home brews. SO. I will see you all when my Wannabe Boza is completed. Thirsty Thursday to you all.